


Heart and Soul

by chuwaeyo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Comfort, Coping, Family Feels, Gen, Moving On
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-20 11:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19991485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuwaeyo/pseuds/chuwaeyo
Summary: They say home is where the heart is, but when your heart and soul are stolen from you without so much as a goodbye, what do you do then?When you’re left to pick up the pieces and try to move on without them, what do you do then?-semi-indulgent series about how I think the avengers would cope after the loss of their heart (tony) and soul (nat)





	1. Preface & Index

**Author's Note:**

> I have notes about what I want to do for each avenger but feel free to comment some ideas down below and let me know what you think!
> 
> Will also be posted on my tumblr @chuwaeyo if you wanna talk there lol

They say home is where the heart is, but when your heart and soul are stolen from you without so much as a goodbye, what do you do then?

When you’re left to pick up the pieces and try to move on without them, what do you do then?

* * *

Index:

(I'll edit this as I start posting ~~hopefully lol~~ but here are some I already have notes for in my drafts - feel free to drop ideas for any of these or the others!)

step by step | Peter Parker

untitled | Thor

untitled | Thor & Guardians

untitled | Professor Hulk

[end of the line] | Steve Rogers

[wonders] | Clint Barton

[lost and found] | Natasha Romanov and Tony Stark


	2. step by step | p.p.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was just Peter Parker, a high school student, and a traumatized survivor of the decimation.
> 
> Because everyone’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man can never have a bad day because that’s not what being friendly is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: I SAW THE SCENE OF EVERYONE KNEELING FOR TONY AND I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER I crIED when i saw it
> 
> warning: might be out of character for mcu peter, but I really wanted him to be angry and lash out so rip pals

He doesn’t cope - not at first.

Not when he doesn’t even know what to think.

The image still haunts him - of Tony doing his best to even out his breathing and keep a calm face for their comfort, even in the face of his death.

_“… won Mr. Stark, please don’t go. I’m sorry, Tony -”_

It always plays in his mind - the memory - always in the back of his head since he arrived at the ceremony with his aunt, at the lake house where Tony managed to have something like a normal life before he sacrificed it all for everyone to live theirs.

Strangers from all parts of the universe - lives that were saved and changed by him - the hero with and without the mask.

And they were all left to move on without him.

Peter went back to school with all the others who lost five years of their lives - went back to his friends, his normal life, normal routine -

Or at least, what he thought normal would be like after everything.

The day was set aside for school, to worry about normal things like grades, the next decathlon, _crushes_.

And with the night came his suit and mask, and patrolling the streets to keep being the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, even though his heart ached each time he put the suit on. Parties and all-nighters with his friends like regular kids lost to fighting crime and trying to do what he thought would make Tony proud.

He kept a smile on his face and laughed like nothing was wrong when he was with his friends.

That was all they needed, so of course they didn’t think to ask about anyone else.

All that mattered to Ned and MJ was that Peter was alive, that he was safe, that he seemed okay.

And no one knew what it cost until Pepper and the others decided to report the losses, weeks after everyone returned, to accept what they lost for one last time, to finally stop prying eyes.

Weeks after Peter thought he would finally be free from the pain from the emptiness in his heart.

_[ - BREAKING NEWS: TONY STARK CITED AS ONE OF TWO AVENGER CASUALTIES IN DEFEATING THANOS. THE MERCHANT OF DEATH TURNED PHILANTHROPIST AND HERO - ]_

Their blood went cold as they shared a look and a single pair of hurried footsteps echoed through the shocked cafeteria hall.

“He didn’t…why didn’t he say anything?” MJ’s voice was barely a whisper as they turned to follow the sound of Peter running down the hall.

It was something Ned had seen before, for Peter’s uncle, when his best friend suddenly lost all his light and laughter and built walls around his heart until he forgot enough of it to move on and pretend to be okay, “we didn’t ask…he knew we could avoid talking about it if we didn’t know.”

And he tried to avoid it more, trying to run out of the halls before they closed in on him. Before anyone saw how hurt “Penis Parker” was over the news and could question it.

Ragged breaths and teary eyes blurred his vision as Peter leaned against the first tree he passed in the courtyard.

Each time Peter closed his eyes he saw the same thing - the image of the charred bits of the man he saw as a father, looking so peaceful and in love despite the pain that accompanied each sacrifice in his life.

If he was just a better hero, if he wasn’t just a kid, maybe he could’ve saved Tony.

“Parker! - P - ”

_Not - Underoos, not Petey, or Pete, or Kid, or even Spidey. Not anymore._

Peter’s throat went dry when he remembered that his voice wouldn’t be there to call out to him anymore, not a nickname, codeword, or joke waiting for his reply.

He was just Peter Parker, a high school student, and a traumatized survivor of the decimation.

Because everyone’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man can never have a bad day because that’s not what being friendly is.

 _“Peter!”_ MJ’s voice came through clearer that time, a steady grip around his shoulders, a hushed voice barely calmer than his own, “can you hear me? I’m here - I’m here with you, alright? I’m here.”

It took a few more seconds for the voice to really register before he moved, forcing himself upright and just out of her grasp, a wide, forced smile to greet her, “oh hey, what’s up, MJ?”

“Parker, you just ran out of a silent cafeteria, if it wasn’t me or Ned, it’d probably be someone you wouldn’t want to see you like this.” She kept a careful eye on him in case he wanted to sprint off and be alone again, letting down her walls just this once for him, while he needed her, “so tell me, how are you feeling? Honestly.”

Her question repeated itself in his mind, shocked that of all the people that knew who he was (and didn’t), that she would be the first one to find and stop him.

At least…she couldn’t have known, right?

He was so careful - Tony taught him to be careful - everyone taught him to be careful.

“Isn’t that obvious? I survived.” And somehow the truth leaving his lips hurt more than it did to watch it happen, another memory and trauma he had to bury so he could pretend that he was okay. “I survived when _they_ didn’t.”

And he’s angry and sad at himself when the tears finally fall because Peter Parker finally breaks, and he shouldn’t be, not after smiling and acting okay and forcing himself to move on from his parents and his uncle for years.

He should be used to this pain already.

But he’s lost so much family already and it’s not fair for him to lose Mr. Stark and Ms. Romanoff too.

It was a cruel joke and he was so tired.

“I tried to be okay, MJ, I tried to be a normal teen and I can’t! Because whenever I close my eyes or it’s too quiet at night I think of what I could’ve done. What _Spider-Man_ should’ve done if I wasn’t so scared!” And he’s yelling and crying and of course he knows that someone could overhear and expose his identity, but he doesn’t care anymore, “how can I pretend like - like the hardest thing going on for me right now is decathlon practice when I’ve been in space, when _I’ve fought in space, when I almost died in space by Thanos himself and saw more people I love die. I close my eyes and see Tony smiling in his last moments because even though he’s dying he knows we won. That he won’t have to be scared for us anymore.”_

She had no words watching Peter spill everything he’s hidden from everyone in his life, everything that’s been weighing on his heart, no snark or jokes resting on her tongue because she knows it won’t help him now.

Because what could she say after hearing everything?

What _could_ she say that would make it all hurt less?

Her ability as a confident orator was a source of pride for her, whether it was surprisingly insightful advice or something snarky for a laugh to keep the conversation moving.

But all she could think of doing for Peter was wrapping an arm around his shoulder, letting him shed all the tears he held back for all the heartbreak and loss he’s hidden from everyone behind his smile.

The heart-wrenching sobs shaking his body in her arms breaks her heart as he remembers when things didn’t hurt.

“And yeah, Miss Romanoff was scary, but we had our moments too y’know?” Peter couldn’t help but lean into the hug with a small smile, trying to laugh off all the awkwardness, but the tears kept coming and he can’t stop crying, recalling better times through choked back sobs, “when she found out I was gonna be helping the Avengers, she helped me train and taught me all sorts of fancy moves and acrobatics since I’m smaller than all the others like her. They even taught me _ballet_.”

Mentioning it brought him back to early morning cardio and stretches with the assassin before training with the others or doing actual internship work, and late nights working to control his movements with Natasha and Tony through ballet and cheap fast food.

The three of them bonding like that, training and laughing together in some hardly traveled part of the Compound that the others never knew of (except Pepper and Rhodey), spending hours teaching Peter basic movements and techniques, and performing duets they thought they would never dance again, with each other.

It was the one fond memory of both of them he still kept close to him.

The one thing that didn’t hurt to remember.

“…well, maybe that’s what you can do,” MJ’s low voice brought him back out of his daze again, steady and reassuring like theirs always was, tightening her grip around him just a little tighter, stopping him from falling apart, “you can keep practicing, keep dancing for them, replace all the pain by remembering the good times, leave marks of your own from now on.”

Peter doesn’t realize he’s not crying anymore until Ned finally runs out, the rest of the school released early from the shock of the breaking news announcement, his best friend pulling him into a tight hug.

“You okay, man?”

And from one safe hug to another, reminding him that he wasn’t as alone as he thought, Peter smiled and wrapped his arms around his best friend, lifting him up with a small laugh. “I will be, thanks to you two -”

But looking up, Ned and Peter found themselves left alone, all that was left of MJ was a single text in their group chat:

_[MJ: definitely couldn’t be seen with you two dorks swinging each other around, but I’ll see you both tomorrow 🙄]_

The two friends shared another look before wrapping their arms around each other’s shoulders and laughing again, ready to go home and move past their heavy afternoon.

But it’s not that easy for Peter.

The pain and regret still weigh on him no matter how much he tries to deny it, and he thinks it always will.

They might be able to cover up all the cracks, but he remembers where they are and how much it hurt. He remembers how much it hurt to break.

Peter’s mind wanders as he swings through the streets, schoolwork long finished and forgotten, avoiding his aunt’s worried looks by leaving for patrol early through his window without so much as a goodbye.

May knew he was gone when there wasn’t any response after knocking on his door to call him for dinner.

The empty bedroom was just more proof.

He shut himself off as soon as they returned from the funeral, whenever she tried to bring up Tony and the others, or when she brought up staying Spider-Man.

His laughter was awkward and distant, and even though he was finally home and an arm’s length away, he felt so far away.

Even after the five years they lost, no matter how much she wanted him back home, it was like he was gone all over again.

She let out a quiet sigh as she sat alone at the table, eating by herself, eyes locked on the plate she set for Peter.

Just like those five years, she left a plate out for him, always ready for him when he came back home, even if she knew he wouldn’t.

But unlike those five years, come the morning, it would all be cleaned, the plate and table all put away by Peter, and she could only hope he actually ate.

As much as she hated watching him spiral, May was helpless in stopping him in trying to fill the gap left by Tony.

He was backed into a corner and refused to listen, refused to trust and rely on others for help.

He only had himself to trust and blame.

Peter threw himself into his responsibilities, slept less, replacing those hours with patrolling or training alone, ignoring the A.I. in his suit running diagnostics on his health and suggesting he go rest, to eat, to talk to someone.

Because now that Tony was gone, who would protect the Earth?

Her greatest defender was gone and the Avengers would never be the same.

Life would never be the same.

He passed another mural of the original six Avengers, a small tribute to the heroes who were the first line of defense in all that was out in space, as a sob ripped through him, falling to his knees on the rooftop beside the image.

And as he wished for a distraction from his thoughts and regrets, his wish was immediately granted by his new “brother”, Harley.

“Parker, the A.I. is screaming all over my speakers that you’re out lurking again, is that true?” Harley’s voice groaned clearly through the comms, their direct line coming to life at its usual graveyard hour. “You know they don’t just nag _you_ when you’re out late right?”

Peter let himself laugh as the voice helped distract him from the growing pit in his stomach, “what, like you’re doing anything better?”

“Hey, I’m trying to work schematics out for a decent suit for everyone, you know the witch was wearing a corset when you fought at that airport?” On the other side of the line, Peter heard Harley throw a stack of papers onto his desk as he laughed in disbelief, “what is a corset supposed to protect? That can’t even be comfortable, right?”

It took Peter a few seconds to think back at the battle at the airport as he pushed himself back up, stretching his arms out before jumping off and swinging mindlessly, “y’know, when Steve was Captain America, the mask on some of his suits didn’t have anything to protect his ears even though we all know he always throws himself towards explosions.”

Harley was silent before pulling up old images of the progression of Steve’s suits on his screen, noting the detail pointed out by Peter, “I see that now, but what’s your point?”

“Even if he was injected with the super-soldier serum wouldn’t his eardrums still be somewhat affected by the blast? Depending on the strength and distance of the blast? I feel like the possible long term effects are just ignored by the fact he was injected with the serum.”

“Are you telling me that he should definitely be wearing supersoldier-strength hearing aids right now?” Their laughter made them realize just how unrealistic much of their uniforms were, but practicality was exchanged for aesthetics for most of them, “and that all of you heroes are impractical?”

It took a few minutes for them to stop laughing at the ridiculousness of their lives and the people they knew, all of who were definitely too careless to not have _real_ protective suits.

Peter thought about everyone else’s suits during the battle with Thanos and remembered a handful of outfits that were more than just what they were wearing before the battle, “oh no yeah, most definitely - we have to live up to the fame, I think it’s a part of the job.”

He didn’t mean to continue towards the Compound, but he also couldn’t find it in himself to turn away, keeping the same pace as he moved further away from the city.

“Eh, that’s a fair point,” Harley was quiet before he cleared his throat awkwardly, “so…you wanna talk about it, Parker?”

Unlike Peter, Harley had made some peace with Tony’s death, knowing their Mechanic would do anything to do the right thing, knowing Tony would want him to see his death as more than just a goodbye.

But unlike Harley, Peter saw firsthand how unfair being a hero could be.

He saw the life leave Tony’s eyes.

How even after his whole team blamed him for the Accords, Tony kept his head held high and helped them anyway.

“I don’t think I have anything else to talk about, Harl, not tonight.” Unconsciously, Peter shrugged his shoulders and hoped he would take the hint and drop it. “Unless you want me to distract you with horrible ideas for Sam’s new Captain America suit.”

The older boy let out a quiet sigh before giving up, “alright well, I’m a call away, Parker…we’re stuck with each other, and the A.I. will make sure to give us both hell if you keep ignoring it’s health checks.”

“Thanks, Harl.” Peter skid to a slow stop outside the doors of the Compound as the call ended, a handful of the front-facing rooms still lit, letting himself in quietly, not eager to run into any of them to be scolded or given _another_ heart to heart.

He tried to think of the last time he talked to any of them, but all that came to mind was the lake house, when they all said their goodbyes.

When he felt like a failure of a hero.

When he felt like nothing more than a kid who lost another father figure.

And even though he knows he shouldn’t, Peter can’t help but blame Steve, for leaving, for being happy when they were all stuck with mourning what they lost.

After the service was done and they were all left to socialize and mingle, a battered and old, but content Steve tried to sit Peter down on the bench beside him. A light grip of a hand that was reminiscent of what Tony used to do on his shoulder, “you know, Queens, you did good. Tony would be proud of you, he always saw you as a son and I know Nat -”

But Peter was too angry to listen to some kind of “wise” speech that Steve had prepared, probably in another timeline with a happy family away from them all - it wasn’t fair how he got to take the easy way out, not when they couldn’t.

“What gives you the right?! To say their names like you’re actually hurt, like you actually miss them?” Everyone was shocked to see Peter erupt and raise his voice, shaking off Steve’s hand and glaring at him, “you left us all behind to live the life Tony deserved to have, what happened to thinking that the past was too romanticized? And what did you do? You stayed there, got to live a full and happy life while we have to live without him…did you get to see him grow up? Did that make you feel better? Did it make up for all the pain you gave him here, in that other timeline? _Did you get to say goodbye?_ ”

His eyes burned from all the tears threatening to fall, but it was nothing compared to the loss of _them_.

The sudden burst made both Sam and Bucky jump to their feet, ready to intervene even if they both thought Peter didn’t have it in him to hit an old man.

“Hold on, Parker, you know that’s not fair to say that,” Sam was quick to defend Steve, the shield in his hand feeling more natural to hold with each minute, maybe adding to his sense of duty to defend a particular senior citizen.

All it took for Sam to back off was a small smile and wave from the old man himself, “no, Sam, it’s alright I’m -”

“You’re what? A coward? A man out of time that abandoned the family that needed him so he could live some fantasy out on his own?” The poison and anger dripping Peter’s words would’ve gotten a laugh before shocking Tony and Natasha like all the others, but in their minds, they had all agreed that it wasn’t fair that Steve had lived the rest of his life without them, “out of all the betrayals Mr. Stark suffered from, by far, Mr. Rogers, you were the worst.”

Everyone was shocked at his outburst, but the raw truth behind Peter’s words made it hard to deny what he was saying - watching him run off before Steve could even come to his own defense.

They were standing around Steve quietly, and Bucky doesn’t know what causes him to move, but Peter just reminds him of a younger Steve, always starting fights and speaking up for what he believed in, even if it would hurt later on, and he can’t just leave the kid alone.

“Come on Sam, the punk needs us.”

And for once, Sam didn’t argue, dropping the shield next to Steve before following Bucky’s lead to look for Peter.

When they found him, burying his face in both his hands at a lone bench across the lake, they sit on both sides of him silently, no teasing or words of hope and wisdom like all the others tried to share.

Just company for the kid they both saw as some annoying little brother, for the kid they both felt they hurt too.

It was clear to both of them how much he was hurting and they just sit with him, all jokes and snark were forgotten to sit there with him so he’s not alone.

It’s something he never expected from them before, but it’s more comforting than they could ever know.

And that’s when fresh tears finally fall that day.

Tears of remembrance and in memory of them, rather than anger and regret.

They both let him cry as they look up at the sky in silence, to be there for him, wondering if an afterlife really existed and if the two they lost were watching him now.

And when he falls into either of their sides, to try and ground himself, they ignore how wet their shirts get because they know the pain and are no stranger to loss, but Peter’s so young, and he shouldn’t have to suffer this much.

By the time Bruce and Rhodey find them, it’s a shared idea among those remaining to watch over Peter like Tony and Natasha used to - to at least try.

“You know, Peter, I think you’re gonna give Tony a run for his money arguing with old men,” Rhodey had a small smile on his face recalling all the times he had to bail Tony out before continuing, “make sure you skip me though, okay? I already got enough of that Stark snark when we were at MIT.”

The crying has been done for a while, but he still sniffles and clears his throat before he laughs, “of course, Mr. Rhodes, I -”

Rhodey holds out a handkerchief before Peter is able to wipe his face with his hands again, “you know you can call me Rhodey, Peter, it’s okay. Now, are you ready to ditch these gross, raggedy looking men? I overheard your aunt wondering where you were while she was talking to Pepper and Morgan.”

Feeling better, Peter accepted the small cloth and straightened himself out, making sure to free himself from any last grime and sniffle with a shaky smile, “thanks for sitting with me, Mr. Barnes and Wilson, and can you tell Mr. Rogers I’m sorry?”

“Oh you’re most certainly welcome, but I’m expecting payment in the form of lunch since you got all your tears on our jackets,” Sam grinned and pushed himself up, ruffling Peter’s hair, “I’m thinking lunch and desert actually.”

Bucky just rolled his eyes hearing the logic in trying to get lunch from Peter, “oh shut up, Sam, I didn’t realize the new Captain America would be taking lunch money from kids.”

The five of them laughed and watched as Sam tried (and failed) to kick Bucky’s leg as payback, “this kid can lift ten tons, but I guess you can just starve. I’ll be waiting for that invite still, Parker.”

“And whenever you wanna spar or something, you call me, okay? You might be the only one left that I don’t have to worry about breaking any bones with this arm.” And weird as the offer was, coming from Bucky it meant a lot to Peter, smiling and nodding happily to both before making their way back to the lake house for tight goodbye hugs from Morgan and Pepper before Happy caved and joined in.

Other goodbyes avoided in hopes to get away from the rest of the Avengers as soon as he could so he could breathe again.

Of course, Peter felt guilty about the way he left the lake house, but that didn’t mean he was eager to run into them in the Compound, not now, not tonight.

As soon as the doors opened, he didn’t waste any time wandering back to the studio where he spent so many comforting late nights.

And he doesn’t know what he expected to do or feel when he got there, but it was like they never even left, the floors and mirrors still clear and free from dust, and in the soft light it seemed almost unreal.

His hands traced over the marks on the floor left behind by his favorite Avengers, and there were no words or thoughts in his mind as the tears began to fall again for them, but for the first time, it didn’t hurt or make him feel dread.

They’re tears of love and remembrance because he’s so full of love for them.

Especially so in this studio they made their own.

Before he knew it, Peter found himself moving to the piece F.R.I.D.A.Y. began to play for him, one he’s heard in passing when he walked into either of them dancing alone in the studio - a song they had each made their own in response to the hopeful nature that the piece made them feel.

It wasn’t standard by any means, but he let himself move the way the music got him to, soft movements and twirls, performing his own private dance just as they did to the same song, following the theme of the work of its rising restlessness in between it’s calming and graceful beginning and end, _[Romance in F Minor, Op. 11](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DXZTeavJ9frA&t=MTRjZTMzM2QwNDkyZDFmZDc0OThjYjY0M2YxODM1NjdjNjM3ZWZhNSxxQmh3MEFadw%3D%3D&b=t%3AUk-RrEIhHMNdFn0OPEt1eQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fchuwaeyo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F186578088525%2Fstep-by-step-pp&m=1)_ , a parallel to their lives Tony joked about one night.

How, no matter how restless and harrowing their lives may seem at the moment, there is sure to be peace and grace waiting for them.

The 12 minute piece was tiring to follow after months of no practice, proper stretching, and in his suit, sliding slowly to the floor in the middle of the studio, letting the music continue as he caught his breath and enjoyed the cool studio flooring, not noticing how the lights in the hallway began to light up halfway through the song.

“Parker?” Bucky left the door half open and lowered the knife in his hands when he saw Peter laying in the middle of it all, the lights too low to see his face clearly, “I heard the music echoing through the halls, didn’t expect to see you here. Mind telling me what this place is? I didn’t even know this existed.”

Peter didn’t bother to look up at Bucky to know he would squat or sit on the floor next to him, “it’s the studio where Tony and Natasha taught me ballet, help me control my movements and stuff since I’m smaller, it was fun.”

He tried to imagine the three of them dancing together, all graceful and at peace, wondering if Peter felt that way now, “…well, you feel better then?”

“I think so.”

“That’s good to hear, punk.” A small smile tugged at Bucky’s lips as he watched Peter stare at the ceiling, “does this mean you gonna start talking to your aunt about it all? Heard from the grapevine that you shut her out.”

The accusation didn’t come as a shock to Peter, but he still felt guilty hearing how cold he was being all the same, “I just…I can’t look at her without feeling guilty. They sacrificed themselves so everyone could come back, how am I supposed to pretend that everything is fine? That I’m okay?”

“You don’t pretend kid, you have to mourn and move on.” Bucky wondered what he must’ve done in a past life to have to be responsible for another punk kid, but the advice came out easily, “trust me, it never gets easier, but it’s something we all have to do. And before you take your anger out on the dinosaur again, he knows it’s not fair, but soldiers like him? He needs to take what he can to try and quiet the callings of war.”

Peter laughed at the nickname for Steve and felt a pang of guilt for never apologizing directly, trying to fix the image of himself Bucky had in his head, “I wasn’t going to take my anger out on him.”

“You got that annoyed look on your face just like the two of ‘em did when he was being a hardass.”

“No I didn’t,” Peter scoffed and couldn’t believe that Bucky could see the face he made in the low lighting, sitting up to find his gaze trained on him.

He waited a few seconds before wagging the knife in Peter’s direction instead of using one of his fingers, “my eyes already adjusted to the dimness in here, trust me when I say I saw it. But seriously, kid, promise me you’ll talk to your aunt, maybe even visit Pepper and Morgan? Maybe you can dance for ‘em. I think the lil Stark would love it.”

At the suggestion, Peter immediately shook his head frantically as his hands followed suit, “look Mr. Barnes, I promise I’ll try to stop isolating myself, but I can’t dance for them, I mean…I’m definitely not good enough for that.”

“Pete…I saw you dancing and you’re definitely good enough, doesn’t it all come from the heart anyway? They’ll know what you’re trying to say. Hell…I felt moved and I only saw you dance for the ending.” With a low groan, Bucky pushed himself up, stretching his arms and legs as he stood up, “want to go wake up Sam and make him drive us to get McDonald’s before you go home?”

While the encouragement was appreciated, Peter was still hesitant to go back home, so the further distraction (and bothering Sam) was another welcome invitation, especially since he had skipped both dinner and lunch. “A chance to bother Sam? I can’t say no to that!”

For a supersoldier and the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, it didn’t take long for both of them to sprint up to Sam’s room and let themselves in, jumping on the new Captain’s bed with loud screams, scaring him awake.

“What in the hell do you two think you’re doing?!” Even though the room was barely lit by the hallway lights, they could both see the white in Sam’s eyes, fists raised and ready for a fight. “Whatever it is, it better be worth waking me up.”

But the two held back their laughs before sharing a look and a shrug, “the kid wanted some company and food. He came all this way - who are we to say no.”

Sam let their argument sink in as he dropped his head into his hands and groaned, wondering who he pissed off in a past life to be stuck with the two children still on his bed and laughing. “I’m not paying.”

“We didn’t say anything about you paying.” As Bucky spoke as innocently as he could, Peter nodded slowly, mimicking Bucky’s naive expression.

“There’s no space on Spider-Boy’s suit for a wallet and when do you ever carry money?”

With each passing second, Sam’s voice became more awake and annoyed at the two, but he still found himself moving out of the comfort of his bed to stretch.

_“Please?”_

At that moment, Peter finally opened his mouth, speaking in a voice softer and more tired than Sam thought was possible for the teen, and any other arguments he had instantly flew out the window.

“Grab me a hoodie.”

With one last huff from Sam, they were off and buckled into their seats, more than ready for their late-night snack.

The drive itself was quiet, the low hum of the radio filling the night as he went through the drive-thru and parked in the lot to avoid any unwanted guests barging on their snacking.

And much like that afternoon on the lake, they didn’t exchange many words, but the message came across just fine.

Just letting Peter exist one night as a kid without the weight of the world on his shoulders was more than he could ask for.

Even though he was still hurting and it felt like everyone moved on without him, his healing took its time, it took the truth coming out, it took existing together until he was reminded of the love that still existed and remained even though they were gone.

Step by step, moment by moment, he would keep moving.

Keep moving and swinging and dancing because at least it was a start.

He was standing in fifth position waiting for the melody he thought was lost with their deaths to start over again.

But maybe MJ was right, maybe it was time to leave his own marks and move on from the melody he was so used to seeing them perform.

Maybe the twelve-minute melody had hit its final note, and it was time he found another to honor them, and all the others.

The sun was hanging on the horizon by the time they finished the food they bought and brought Peter to his apartment, Sam and Bucky sharing one last look before the former cleared his throat and turned to Peter. “You going to be okay, Parker? We might not be the best people to talk to, but we’re here for you, all of us are.”

And Peter doesn’t know why the two men have such a relaxing effect on him with their private conversations and company after all the teasing and the fight at the airport, but he laughs and smiles as he leans into the backseat. “I think I’ll be okay after one last dance.”

  
The next time the studio is lively with people, Peter is dressed in a leotard with Morgan by his side, the rest of their family and his friends watching on the sidelines, reunited once again across galaxies for the anniversary of their victory and the sacrifices it came with.

Peter clears his throat and wraps an arm around Morgan as he smiles at the crowd, resting his eyes on his Aunt May holding E.D.I.T.H. carefully in her hands and a proud smile on her face.

“Hey everyone, I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m in tights that aren’t my Spider-Man suit, but Morgan and I are really happy you made it here today. We have something special planned that we’ve been practicing for so many weekends and holidays, I think we left as many marks on this studio floor as Mr. Stark and Ms. Romanoff.”

“Come on, kid, actions speak louder than words, right? Now hurry up and show everyone what you can do.” Bucky rolled his eyes and tried to hide his smile behind his beer, but both Steve and Sam had caught the corners of his lips twitch upwards at the dancers.

At the encouragement and the claps that followed Bucky’s comment, Peter clapped his hands together and straightened up, taking one last deep breath. “Right! This is _[Romance in F Minor, Op. 11](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DXZTeavJ9frA&t=MTRjZTMzM2QwNDkyZDFmZDc0OThjYjY0M2YxODM1NjdjNjM3ZWZhNSxxQmh3MEFadw%3D%3D&b=t%3AUk-RrEIhHMNdFn0OPEt1eQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fchuwaeyo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F186578088525%2Fstep-by-step-pp&m=1)_ , one of the most memorable pieces I’ve learned from them, and one that Morgan and I have made our own. I uh, hope all of you enjoy! F.R.I.D.A.Y. hit it!”

On command, the lights dimmed in the studio as the familiar melody echoed through the room, holograms of Natasha and Tony filling in the empty spaces beside Peter and Morgan, old footage come to life with the help of Harley and Nebula during one of her visits to Earth.

And even though they were in on the secret, their breath hitched like everyone else’s in the room watching the two pairs move in sync, two generations dancing to a melody that used to be a secret of late nights and early mornings before their eyes.

Tony not in a suit and moving more freely than any of his suits could ever dream, with a carefree smile on his face that matched Natasha’s, her hair in a loose braid and wearing a sweater she must’ve stolen from Thor or Steve.

Morgan loved dancing with her brother Peter, but something about her daddy and auntie joining them made her heart burst with joy even more, not expecting to share their performance with them also.

He closes his eyes and beams as the final notes play, as he reminisces on all the memories and growth of the past year.

Images of laying in a pool of their own sweat with Tony and Natasha, feasting on a mountain of junk food; of apologizing to a wrinkly Steve and immediately being treated out to milkshakes (and using Sam’s money); of working Bruce in the labs with Harley and all the others visiting with different snacks to talk and watch all of them work.

Of visiting the lake house with May to talk to Pepper and Morgan and cry over Tony before making fun of all his stupid jokes and visiting his grave.

Of teaching Morgan all the basic steps and taking her to buy her first tutu with Happy.

Of convincing MJ and Ned to skip decathlon practice to come to the dance studio and watch him and Morgan, and driving to get her as many cheeseburgers as she was craving that day.

Peter closes his eyes and all he can think about all the love in his life, even if he lost sight of it all when he first lost them.

He doesn’t cope - not at first.

But the melody helped him start to move again - step by step - each high and low of the song and of grieving and reassurance and the ending peace that, like Tony promised, always waited for them.


End file.
